Ancient Paths

Life is suffering. An up-hill battle, an adventure.

A constant struggling forward.

Lately the weight of life has gotten me down. I've spent a few nights crying myself to sleep. Wondering what on earth I'm doing with my life. 

On the outside, it looks like I have it all. I'm a filmmaker. Producing my first feature film. Working in an office of wonderful people, who I get to adventure with. I'm writing a novel and part of the worship team at church. I have great friends and a loving family. I have all the creature comforts I could want and am surrounded with good things.

On paper, I've got a pretty charmed life.

But the life of a creative is a constant struggle. And that's ok.

Because without a little conflict, life would get pretty boring. I don't want a life of all highs and no lows.

It's in the lows I remember to crawl back to my Papa and cry for his help. It's then I remember, I've got an amazing God, who is using every present struggle for the working of my good.

His plans are for our good.

If there is one thing I can stress to those who are going through a difficult time. Even if it feels like that difficult time is always. On-going.

Do yourself a favor. Turn to Papa God. He's the only one who can meet you exactly where you are.

I've been listening to Bethel's new album, Have it All, and been reminded that when I focus on the struggle - I will be overwhelmed.

But if I focus on God and His phenomenal amazingness - I will overcome.

As soon as we tell God that He can, indeed, "have it all." That stress and worry. That frustration, it will lighten. I don't mean it will go away. I'm still facing a big giant, but my perspective has changed. I can't see the giant, because I'm too transfixed by the glory of my Daddy.

Jeremiah 6:16 says, "Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls."

Oh that we would turn our hearts back to God and take those ancient paths.

Think about an ancient path for a moment. What does it look like? Where would it be found?

I imagine those roads are not easy to navigate. They're probably overgrown. Full of wild things. In hard to reach locations. Where only the brave and courageous can find them.

And even then, I bet they are hidden to the naked eye.

Ah. But don't you know? It is the glory of God to conceal things, and the glory of man to seek them out!

To search something out is not going to be easy. But, He's told us not to fear, because He's redeemed us. Called us by name, and said that we are His.

If that isn't enough. He's also given us a promise.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Is. 43:2

"I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord." Is. 45:3

I don't know about you, but I want to find those ancient paths. I want to seek out the things God has hidden. To walk forward - through the struggles - and know there will come a day when the struggle will have it's work in me.

And I'll come out the other end a stronger person.

Both in faith and relationship to the One who walked me through it.

What Watchman Nee taught me...

Sit, Walk, Stand by Watchman Nee
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A rare book, full of simple truths. I find it hard to believe I've never read one of Watchman Nee's books before.

That will definitely change.

Not only is his writing full of genuine sincerity, but somehow he's able to take all the complexities we Christians get distracted with and make them simple truths so easy to understand and believe.

God's word is "Stand!" "Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." The Greek verb "stand" with its following preposition "against" in verse 11 really means "hold your ground." There is a precious truth hidden in that command of God. It is not a command to invade a foreign territory. Warfare, in modern parlance, would imply a command to "march." Armies march into other countries to occupy and to subdue. God has not told us to do this. We are not to march but to stand. The word "stand" implies that the ground disputed by the enemy is really God's, and therefor ours. We need not struggle to gain a foothold on it.

The verses he's talking about here happen to be from my favorite book of the bible, Ephesians. And they happen to be from my favorite chapter, chapter 6, so you can imagine my surprise when at 32 I'm still able to learn something profound and new about a well-loved and well-read book and chapter.

But perhaps my favorite part of this book came at the end, after Watchman Nee tells a story of how God moved to show His power to an entire island.

Nee and seven others took a trip to an island and asked God to let it rain on a day that was celebrated by all the islands inhabitants to their god. Of course, God shows up and it's awesome. What brought me to tears is what followed. Nee lost touch with one of the men who'd played an integral part in God's plan and when he ran into him years later, he asked the man if he still followed God. The man's response broke my heart, but not in the way you'd think.

"Mr. Nee!" he said, "do you mean to say that after all we went through I could ever forsake him?"

There is an incredible love and devotion behind those words. An unwavering, no-nonsense and no-room-for-doubt kind of faith that I want in my life and that I am pursuing like a pearl of great price or buried treasure.

If you haven't read this book and you call yourself a Christian, please, go buy it and read it now. Let this man's life be an example to you.

Read it!

View all my reviews

Review of Kazuo Ishiguro's The Buried Giant

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Honestly, I had a hard time getting into this story. There were elements I liked, and a few chapters I couldn't put down, but over all, I never became attached to the characters like I normally do. I suspect however, that this is a failing on my part and not the author. I think there were too many times I became distracted and just read the words without understanding the sentences.

I will say the end shocked me. I literally made a noise when I read the last sentence because it ended in such a way that I was not ready for it to end.

I think I'll need to re-read this someday to fully understand some of the artsy and poetic stuff I missed.

View all my reviews

Glimpses of Light, the contining tour

You can purchase your copy on amazon

It's my turn to promote Glimpses of Light on this wonderful Blog Tour.

I hope you've enjoyed all the stops so far & if you've missed them, then you should start at the very beginning, someone once told me it's the very best place to start.

 So, if you fall into that category & you want all the juicy details of this tour de force then head over to Nola's post and follow the yellow brick road until you come back to this one.

Now, for you more serious tourists who've been following all along, you'll know I have the honor of continuing this lovely tour after the incomparable Adam Collings. Fellow author of speculative fiction, who hails from the great land of Tasmanian Devils, aka Tasmania. If you missed his post, please check it out, it's quite cool to hear how he came up with his amazing short story for Glimpses of Light and be sure to leave a comment on his post about what you most appreciate about light for your chance to win one of his great giveaways!

Where to begin?
It's an honor to be a part of this unique anthology.

When Jeanette O'Hagan & Nola L. Passmore were looking for entries for their anthology themed around the idea of 'glimpses of light', I couldn't sign up fast enough.

This is the first time I've done something like this.

In fact this is the very first story I've had published & I learned a lot about myself through the experience.

Specifically, I learned I've been hiding my art behind fear. I was living with the same question I've written in bold above. Where was I to begin?

I knew I wanted to be an author, but how does one go from wanting something to actually being something?

By taking risks.

So, gathering all my nervous energy, I sat in my slate winged chair, placed my laptop in front of me & began to dream up a story to submit.

What to write?

As my fingers hit the keys a story began to unfold & my dystopian speculative short story, The Last Blood Moon, came into existence.

The story follows Merillya, who is on the verge of adulthood. She's been given a unique gift that could change the world, but is Society ready to change? Is she?

The inspiration came from the theme itself & what could go wrong.

Conflict is the best friend an author can have.

And I was definitely feeling conflicted about submitting my story. All those nasty "what if's" started to bounce around my mind & I almost backed out, but then even the characters in my story began to threaten violence if I didn't follow through.

Ultimately, I realized the theme of my story would become a think of hypocrisy if I backed out.

How to move forward?

I submitted my piece & waited on the edge of my seat to find out if my story had been selected. It felt like it took an eternity & I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up. Then finally, an email came.

And, well, you know the result.

What I've learned from this process is that I do, indeed, really love to write & create. I even love the editing process & getting constructive criticism on my work.

It wakes something in me to hear what's working & what's not.

But the biggest thing I learned came when I received my own printed copy of Glimpses of Light Anthology.

I realized I'm part of something bigger.

Not only do I have the privilege of having my little short story compiled together with other amazing authors & their stories, but my creativity was helping someone else.

All the proceeds of this anthology are going to CBM Australia (formerly known as Christian Blind Mission) who are giving sight to the blind among other things.

My creative talents are helping the blind.

Pretty surreal.

Pretty mind-boggling.

And super humbling.

Where to finish? Or, how you can win!

Well, if you've stuck with me this far, then I've got a challenge for you.

What God-given talent is fear holding back in your life?

Leave a comment below answering this question for your chance to win a copy of Glimpses of Light. This competition is open to everyone, except the contributors of Glimpses of Light Anthology.

*Hint - The better plan you've got to stop fear, the better your chance to win and be inspired by all the stories of light and hope.

Stay tuned!

Be sure to check in next week, 19th of January, to hear from Lynne Stringer. She's been a professional journalist & editor. Has written screenplays & novels. Her debut novel, The Heir, was released in 2013 & is the first book in her Verindon trilogy which was completed in 2014. She's an amazing author & I for one am looking forward to hearing what she has to say.


I hope you're inspired to use your gifts and talents.  You never know who it's going to help.

Live fully.

 

The Blog Tour - My Process and Work in Progress

Welcome to the Blog Tour. A virtual tour of writers and their writing. 

Lynne Stringer at www.lynnestringer.com tagged me as part of a blog tour. Be sure to check her blog out if you're just joining the tour. 

Here's a glimpse of what I've been up to with my current WIP. 

1. WHAT YOU'RE WORKING ON AT THE MOMENT? 
I am currently working on my first novel. I've got about 1500 more words to write to complete the first draft and then the edits begin. I'm really excited about this project. It's a fantasy about a girl learning how to grow up essentially and she's got some tough decisions to make, including finding out she's the heir to a forgotten kingdom. The story follows her as she decides what must be done and all the adventures and misadventures she comes across in the process.

2. HOW DOES YOUR WORK DIFFER FROM OTHERS IN YOUR GENRE? 
I'm hoping to stand out with having a strong female lead. I also think the world I've created is different from any I've read so far. The cast of characters I have help too.

3. WHY DO YOU WRITE OR CREATE WHAT YOU DO? 
C.S. Lewis and Tolkien wrote their novels because they wanted to read more stories they would like. For me it's the same. I love the fantasy genre and how many stories can be told and how unique the characters are portrayed. A lot of time, I feel like they are filled with allegory and often the characters teach me valuable lessons. I think this translates in my writing as well. I like to tell stories of the things I've learned and in processing that through my stories, I learn more as well.

4. HOW DOES YOUR WRITING/CREATIVE PROCESS WORK? 
 I'm very chaotic when it comes to my process. I've spent years asking different writers what their style is, what they've found that works and doesn't work and I feel like I've actually tried it all too. I've read books and taken courses on it, but for me, I start with a basic storyline. I may write out a short paragraph of the overall story and then I start writing. I let the scenes come as I write, all the while keeping in the back of my mind where I need to get them and what they need to learn and how they need to change. 

Along the way I may write out biographies for specific characters and I'll start building from there what the different places in the world I'm creating look like. As the story progresses I come up with more ideas and implement them into the story to flesh it out a bit more.

It is a very chaotic way to write and won't work for everyone, but I've discovered that even if I do plan out a detailed plot I still go off on tangents that actually have more impact on my test audience. 

Once I've written out a full draft of the story, then I send it to a select few for feedback. I also live with a great bunch of friends who enjoy hearing my stories, so I'll read my story out loud. They're pretty vocal about what they like and when they stop me to ask questions, it gives me more of an idea of the plot holes I need to fix. Reading it out loud also helps me see where things are flowing and where they aren't. 

Over all it's a fun process, but if I could encourage any aspiring author it would be to find the discipline to just sit down and write. Don't wait for inspiration. Schedule out a time to write and do it every single day.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and now to continue your blog tour, head over to Sandi Rog's page next week (10 August) to hear about her work and process. Also next week head over to Adam Colling's blog to hear about his as well.

Rock, Hardplace > Me

What happens when our dreams become a prison?

This has been my question as of late. I've fought, struggled & battled to see vision & dream become reality & time & time again it falls flat at my feet, crumpled & broken.

Do I have what it takes?

Am I missing God's plan?

Am I fighting for something I want & not something He's called me to? Am I meant to keep fighting for this dream? And if so, do I have the strength do keep fighting?

It takes effort, but I manage to find a quiet place to just let loose to God, pouring out my long awaited tears at the foot of the throne. I yell & scream, I question my life & let God see the dirty side of my heart where doubt & fear still dwell strong & hot. I tell Him of my love/hate relationship with my dreams, with my life. I pour out everything & anything & the more I share the more dramatic it all sounds & I know that only God can fully take me at my most dramatic. No one else would touch me with a ten foot pole if they really saw the dramatic monster I become, but God is willing.

He listens.

I am still amazed at His unfailing love & patience for His children. Even when I am questioning His faithfulness He still sweeps in, speaking softly to me & wooing me with sweet nothings...

This doesn't mean that if you are experiencing difficult times God will just make it go away. He doesn't work that way. At least He never has in my experience. No, He leaves me with Rock & Hard Place, the only difference is I am not alone. He never leaves me. He is a strong warrior dancing over me.

Can you picture it? A strong warrior dancing for a weeping, weak girl. Doing what He can to cheer her weary soul, even when she throws her fists at him & pushes Him away with unfair accusations. It doesn't stop His dance even though her sharp words sting his heart. He continues to pursue, speaking softly. Wooing.

What amazing love.

I may not have the answers to my questions, I may still wonder if my dream is still a dream or a prison, but when someone loves you this much... doesn't it make you want to follow, to love in return? To keep pushing, to keep fighting, to obey? Rock & Hard Place may come & go, but knowing He will never leave me is so very comforting. And for now, it stills those doubts, worries & pain. Not taking them away, but giving me room to stretch & grow. To continue to learn from these hardy fellows.

And if I'm really honest with myself, even though Rock & Hard Place are painful, I welcome their company because it pushes my selfish pride away & reminds me to lean on my Strong Warrior. It reminds me of what all I have to be so very thankful for & hold on to the truths that He is a faithful, loving, wonderful God & Father. And oh! What a Warrior.

Ice Caves & Wisdom Teeth

Fear worms around our hearts and squeezes until we can't breathe. We avoid it by hiding away in a self made cage,  thinking we're safe from all uncertainties. Only problem, it keeps us from the good too...

I sit at my parents' dinning room table and look out at the enchanting forest of their backyard, a gentle mist hangs on the mountains in the distance. It's haunting and beautiful. Mostly it's terrifying. Those mountains I love so much hold a hidden treasure. Ice caves. Blue, rock hard and enchanting, but the trail there is dangerous and in places death defying, not to mention there's a looming threat right now of flooding and at any moment without warning the glacier could calve and come bone crashing down upon any would be adventurers. 

I've only seen pictures of the ice caves, but my spirit is drawn to explore them. The reality of actually traveling the seven to eight hour hike, climbing rocks and sliding across ice while avoiding confrontations with bears or wolves is enough to make me cancel any plans to try. I had plans to go with my brother, sister-in-law and eleven year old niece but after doing a bit of research I made a phone call and quickly backed out.

Fear crippled my heart.

I'm not saying there isn't a healthy fear, in all honesty, I am probably not fit enough to try the hike yet, but as I sat gloomily licking the wounds where fear had held tightest I began to see other areas where fear still held deathly tight.

Two years ago I was urged to get my wisdom teeth removed within the year, I ignored the suggestion and pretended my teeth were fine. I didn't fancy the idea of having my gum and jaw bone cut open.

When the pain in my jaws continued to grow I finally took the plunge and before long found myself sitting in a dentist chair, a paper bib clipped to my shirt and little wires and pads stuck to my chest and side. I was alone, I presume the nurse and doctor were prepping for surgery. I took deep breaths to still my beating heart. My first surgery. All the "What ifs..." racing through my mind. Then I looked out the window, little drift wood birds swung from the tree abutting the building. The peaceful scene quite the opposite of my own feelings.

Seeing those birds something in me began to still and quiet... Those who put their hope in The Lord will renew their strength. Yes, The Lord, He would still my fear. I prayed. The doctor came in and the room began to bustle with activity but I kept my focus on the drift wood birds. My vision began to fade, I made a few jokes as peace seeped through me and fell asleep to the joyful laughter and banter of the doctor and nurses. 

Fear didn't win because Perfect Love cast it out. 

The ice caves still beacon to me, an adventure I will someday undertake and conquer, but for now I will let myself soak in the wonderful presence of Perfect Love, allowing Him to work in my heart and pull the thorns of fear.

The only thing I need to remember, Perfect Love is a gentleman and He won't come until I ask.