Thursday, July 31, 2014

Ice Caves & Wisdom Teeth

Fear worms around our hearts and squeezes until we can't breathe. We avoid it by hiding away in a self made cage,  thinking we're safe from all uncertainties. Only problem, it keeps us from the good too...

I sit at my parents' dinning room table and look out at the enchanting forest of their backyard, a gentle mist hangs on the mountains in the distance. It's haunting and beautiful. Mostly it's terrifying. Those mountains I love so much hold a hidden treasure. Ice caves. Blue, rock hard and enchanting, but the trail there is dangerous and in places death defying, not to mention there's a looming threat right now of flooding and at any moment without warning the glacier could calve and come bone crashing down upon any would be adventurers. 

I've only seen pictures of the ice caves, but my spirit is drawn to explore them. The reality of actually traveling the seven to eight hour hike, climbing rocks and sliding across ice while avoiding confrontations with bears or wolves is enough to make me cancel any plans to try. I had plans to go with my brother, sister-in-law and eleven year old niece but after doing a bit of research I made a phone call and quickly backed out.

Fear crippled my heart.

I'm not saying there isn't a healthy fear, in all honesty, I am probably not fit enough to try the hike yet, but as I sat gloomily licking the wounds where fear had held tightest I began to see other areas where fear still held deathly tight.

Two years ago I was urged to get my wisdom teeth removed within the year, I ignored the suggestion and pretended my teeth were fine. I didn't fancy the idea of having my gum and jaw bone cut open.

When the pain in my jaws continued to grow I finally took the plunge and before long found myself sitting in a dentist chair, a paper bib clipped to my shirt and little wires and pads stuck to my chest and side. I was alone, I presume the nurse and doctor were prepping for surgery. I took deep breaths to still my beating heart. My first surgery. All the "What ifs..." racing through my mind. Then I looked out the window, little drift wood birds swung from the tree abutting the building. The peaceful scene quite the opposite of my own feelings.

Seeing those birds something in me began to still and quiet... Those who put their hope in The Lord will renew their strength. Yes, The Lord, He would still my fear. I prayed. The doctor came in and the room began to bustle with activity but I kept my focus on the drift wood birds. My vision began to fade, I made a few jokes as peace seeped through me and fell asleep to the joyful laughter and banter of the doctor and nurses. 

Fear didn't win because Perfect Love cast it out. 

The ice caves still beacon to me, an adventure I will someday undertake and conquer, but for now I will let myself soak in the wonderful presence of Perfect Love, allowing Him to work in my heart and pull the thorns of fear.

The only thing I need to remember, Perfect Love is a gentleman and He won't come until I ask.


  1. Thanks Charis - a joy to read!

  2. It’s the fear that will keep you paralyzed. Just keep reminding yourself that there’s nothing to worry about when you’re in the hands of professionals. Yes, it may hurt a little; but it’s absolutely not something that you can’t handle. It’s good to know you have developed a way of setting your mind against these fears before they get best of you. Stay tough!

    Karen Perry @ Brookside Smiles

  3. It’s amazing how you’ve found a way to cope with your fears. I hope your succeeding dental visits weren’t as dreadful as the previous ones. I see how your strong faith and newfound serenity has helped you a lot. So from then onwards, that kind of peace and devotions will help you get over that fear. Have a nice day!

    Josh Brockmann @ StarBrite Dental