New Year's Revelations

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." -- Bilbo Baggins to his nephew Frodo Baggins, from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.

Normally, the first month of a new year is spent creating New Year's Resolutions and working toward being healthier, more productive, spending more time with our families, being more creative, being more positive, etc etc. The goal we seem to aim for is to ultimately: be a better person.

But this year, I'm not buying into the mentality.

Instead, I'm choosing to put my focus back where it should be. On God.

I'm a missionary, so this shouldn't be hard, right? But, I'm also a filmmaker and writer and an aspiring actress. Finding room for God can sometimes be difficult. Especially, when I come home at the end of a long day and just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie or read a good book. Or sleep!

Unrealistic Expectations

One of the reasons I'm passing on making a list of resolutions is because I often create an unrealistic goal for myself: learn ten new languages, take lessons in modern dance, ballet, jazz and hiphop, go to acting classes and take voice lessons, read 100 books in a year, write six novels, make twelve movies. Produce seven plays.

These are all good things, but in my hype and determination I shoot for the moon and don't even end up in the stars.

I'm not saying you shouldn't go for your dreams. Write the resolutions if it inspires you, but remember what's most important.

God.

All my life, I've been told the Big Story God had for me would be impossible without him. It made me feel important to God that he wanted to keep me so close and give me such a huge story.
I was going to star in an epic!

Then life happened. The journey started. The road got bumpy and I wished I'd listened a bit more to Bilbo Baggins who warned Frodo to keep his feet, because there really is no knowing where you might be swept off to.

What I realized is, when my focus was on the New Year's Resolutions I thought making the list was half-way to living that life and not only the start. I wanted it now as so many of us in the microwave generation do. So when it was harder and took longer, or even when I failed I let guilt take over.

My focus was on the impossible goal.

Not where it should be.

On God.

That's why this year, I'm taking a different approach. I'm not making the list of resolutions because I know if I fix my focus on God and getting to know him more I'll actually reach better goals and become a, truly, healthier person.

It'll happen by osmosis. Not because I don't still try to go for my goals, but because I will see all my goals through a filter of love and truth. I can still shoot for the moon and instead of only landing among the stars, I'll pass this galaxy and go to the next.

Do you understand what I mean? I'm not saying I'll get my goal or even reach it. I'm saying I'll discover the better thing. The richer life.

Unexpected Realities

When God told me I was to pursue acting and filmmaking, I thought that meant going to Hollywood. I thought he'd help me get my own star on the Walk of Fame.

I could see myself kneeling on the pavement and pressing my hands into the soft cement, with a crowd of fans and paparazzi taking my picture. And like most kids, I'd stand in front of my mirror, hold a Barbi or my hairbrush and thank the Academy again for my fourth consecutive Oscar for Best Actress.

And then God told me to move to Australia. I thought maybe it was just a detour on the way to Tinseltown. A blip, so to speak.

But, that "detour" has lasted almost ten years.

It wasn't until a few years ago I realized this wasn't the blip. This was the Big Story God had for me and I needed to stop seeing it as temporary.

It was then I looked back on the journey so far and saw how much richer my life was. No, I didn't have my own star on the Walk of Fame, but I had a family of filmmakers who I could trust and do life with. I was living as a filmmaker and actress and writer.

Not aspiring anymore, but doing it. Living it.

And when I looked closer, I realized time and time again, all the films I'd worked on, all the stories I'd gotten to write had one thing in common. They came about when I stopped striving to be a better person and when I focused in on loving God and getting to know this amazing and mysterious being who liked to create as much, and even more, than I did.

He brought them into my life.

When we put our focus in the right place -- on God -- there's more freedom for him to create the BIG Story in our lives, the epic adventures.

It actually makes me see Bilbo's comment in another light, like he was excited to tell Frodo to watch where his feet took him. Because with God, there really is no knowing where you might be swept off to. It's all part of the Big Story God wants to tell with our lives and it can only happen if our focus is fixed on him.

It was a new revelation and I want to dive in head first.

Are you up for the adventure?

Originally published on Christian Today.

Embracing My Tookish Side

A couple years ago a few friends and I went to the annual Abbey Medieval Festival to spend a day in the past.

Not only did I learn and experience new things from everyday life of the Medieval past, but I learned about the sub-culture of the festival re-enactors too and it woke something "Tookish" inside of me.

“Then something Tookish woke up inside him, & he wished to go & see the great mountains, & hear the pine-trees & the waterfalls, & explore the caves, & wear a sword instead of a walking-stick.” The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien

At one of the many canvas tents was a mud-oven where re-enactors were baking hardy, brown bread. They were passing it out to all of us when another re-enactor came bounding up to get a piece of the delicious bread too and after a cute little exchange he bounded away again with his fresh and tasty treasure.

The girl slicing the bread looked at us with a sparkle in her eye, said "That's my dad." and went back to preparing pieces for us to try & it suddenly hit me - this big event wasn't just a once a year party for us medieval loving people, but for these re-enactors it was a way of life.

A New Way of Life

After this, I spent about an hour talking with two other re-enactors, each dressed to the nines as medieval knights. One was wearing a chain-mail shirt he hand made.

During our chat I mentioned the girl and her father and the two knights' eyes lit up. They began telling me how there were 3rd generation re-enactors at the festival, the kids of re-enactors had raised their kids in this sub-culture and now those kids were part of the festival too.

Imagination ignited, I tried to picture the life these people led. They were living in the past and present all at once, totally embracing the fullest they could get out of both. They all made their own clothes - even their shoes! They all slept in canvas tents during the festival, eating mutton cooked over open fires, singing old songs and drinking honeyed mead. The REAL festival happened when all us "tourists" left & they got a moment living in the past.

There was something about this that stirred my soul. I'm still searching for an actual name for it, I've been searching for years. The closest I've come to naming it is what writers John Eldridge and Brent Curtis call a "Haunting" in their book The Sacred Romance. Or what Erwin Raphael McManus calls the "Barbarian" in his book The Barbarian Way.

These names are great, but for me they still lack something... maybe it's because "IT" is too big for one or two words.

A New Type of Adventure

How can we encapsulate a feeling and way of life in one word?

All I know is this "It", this "stirring" is raw and gritty. It's sun burnt faces with dirt etched into every wrinkle and pore, it's deep laugh lines and fierce eyes, it's knowing who and Who's you are, it's living boldly and passionately even in the midst of the scariest, deadliest storm. It's the great, big and wild adventure God calls each of us to live.

So often we want our lives to be plastic clean, or just safe and cozy like a warm little hobbit hole I know about, but God's adventure is quite the opposite.

I always think of impulsive Peter who was ready to follow Jesus everywhere- even death. Who couldn't believe he would ever deny or abandon his Lord, who took up a sword and cut a man's ear off, because he thought he was defending his friend. He was raw and passionate and many times Jesus had to bring him correction.

No doubt most us would look at a man like that and scowl at his rough-around-the-edges attitude, but not Jesus. Instead, Jesus saw how passionately Peter wanted to be part of the 'Haunting', 'Barbarian' way of life and it was Peter he chose as the foundation of his church.

"And I tell you that you are Peter, & on this rock I will build my church, & the gates of Hades will not overcome it." Matthew chapter 16, verse 18

It's our choice whether we will choose to risk it all for the sake of the better and bigger story or stay safe in our cosy little hobbit holes.

I, for one, will be following in Bilbo, Peter's and those medieval re-enactors steps, you'll probably see me running down that Road shouting "I'm going on an adventure."

Wanna join me?