"I choose to trust in Him no matter what the circumstances. He stays the same today, yesterday and tomorrow and the truth is, that He loves us and has a plan for our lives- to prosper us, to give us hope and a future bigger than our present circumstances."
Almost exactly a year ago today the quote above was my Facebook status. At the time I was experiencing the death of a dream so closely held and my heart was bleeding.
I'm sure we've all been there. You have a dream or vision for something you want to do with your life and for those with a bit of boldness you go for those dreams no matter what, even when they're uncomfortable or seem to be going in the exact opposite direction as your end goal. I did this. I held tightly to one particular dream for seven years and year after year it fell to the ground and I mourned it all over again. This year is different. After seven years of pushing through doubt, pain, blood, sweat and many a tear my dream is finally coming to fruition.
My dream is being born.
It's a testimony of God's character, He is blissfully the same today as yesterday and will be tomorrow. His plan may not always be comfortable or easy to travel, but when we choose the bigger story He has for us, I promise you, it won't be a disappointment.
BUT, the story doesn't stop there. Even when your dream is born into a tangible world and takes its first tentative steps, wobbling on shaky legs and breathing in the crisp, thicker air it's still only the beginning of the journey. I'm reminded of The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis where the ghosts couldn't walk on the soft grass because it was like walking on glass and even the smallest of apples was too heavy to carry. Just like those shadowy ghosts in The Great Divorce, our dreams have to step onto that land of sharp green, where picking up an apple is the most difficult thing ever.
This is where I am. My dream is here and I have to walk these new steps with it, it's a place I've never been before, so I can't walk comfortably, instead I get just as scared as my dream does. I can almost see my dream and I walking down a mountain path, tentatively stepping over fallen branches and avoiding the prickly bushes on either side. It's funny, I always thought once it came I would be a different person- that I would be someone I could admire, someone strong and wise, someone qualified for the job, but I'm still me, I've just walked a little further down the Road Tolkien talked about and I have no knowing where my feet are taking me.
It's terrifying but also exhilarating.
I'm being stretched and prepared and it makes me realize that even when I think the "Happily Ever After" has come, I still have to remain vulnerable and teachable, because this dream I've been given to care for needs me to remain pliable. The Big Story has only started and I find myself at that Call to Adventure moment and I must choose the adventure or turn back. If I turn back now, my dream and I won't experience the Big Story, but only a shadow of what it could have been. How incredibly awesome and powerful is our choice!?
We all love the end of the story because we can sit back and relax knowing the characters we loved are living a life of contentment, but even for them, the adventure doesn't stop there, we just don't always get to see what happens next.
Now I must choose... Will I choose the call to adventure yet again, knowing full well my dream and I will be at the mercy of the Story, knowing what we experience will not be safe and may in fact be very difficult and painful?
It's terrifying, but I defy any one of you not to be stirred with excitement by that Call.
So, what is my answer? Let the drums roll, let the many peoples shout. My answer is a resounding yes. It will always be YES, because no matter the difficulty ahead, my God is a mighty warrior and His plans for me are for good and I love the adventure because it gives me an opportunity to put my faith in action. I will choose to trust Him no matter what the circumstances, knowing when I come out the other side, my dream and I will be better for it and the Bigger, more Glorious Story will be told.
What will you choose?