I've always wanted to be a leader and mentor. Maybe this sounds a bit vain, but I thought I'd be pretty good at it.
Lately, I've been thinking about the hardships that come with being a leader. Not just the hardships, but the responsibility and the work that goes into each and every relationship. You're life is not your own anymore, everyone critiques the way you do things and no one fully gets how much of your heart you put into even just the little things.
In a weird way it's like being a parent and having the world watch on as you try to bring discipline to your children. Whether your children are the people you lead or the courses you run, or the topics you speak on, it's all critiqued. In some cases it's not just critiqued, it's rejected. When that happens, it breaks your heart. It's like the prodigal son who chose to walk away from his father, but took all the hard work his father put aside for him and wasted it like it was garbage (his inheritance).
I came home crying over this today and in my heart wrenching whine to my wonderful and enduring housemate, I suddenly thought of Jesus. Sure, I pour my heart into those I mentor, I love them. I see their potential and I so badly want them to see it too and start living it. It physically hurts when they don't see how awesome they are and choose instead to put themselves down. Sometimes I have to stop myself from shoving the truth down their throats, I mean how can they not see what I see?
Yet, how much more does Jesus feel this way about us? I mean He went pretty far to show how much He believed in us. He fought so hard for us to see ourselves the way He sees us. And He thought we were worth redeeming- enough to take our place and die for us. He gave more than just His heart, He gave everything.
Maybe only those who have been or are in leadership will really get this post, but this thought really made me think today. When those I'm mentoring reject me or ridicule my efforts it hurts. But how much more does Jesus' heart break when we reject Him and His word? All He's trying to do is help us to live fully, to be people who are so tangible and creative that we create glory in everything we touch. If we really stepped into what He has for us, the air would be thick with something like fairy dust. Only it would be bigger and better.